http://www.theonion.com/articles/vin-diesel-will-finally-kiss-car-in-fast-furious-6,31344/
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-documentary-reveals-seaworld-forced-orca-whale,34449/
http://www.theonion.com/articles/after-careful-deliberation-baby-goes-with-homosexu,32627/